I'll do it for her
by adventure time idiota1
Summary: Harley tries to commit suicide after a serious fit with the Joker. guess the profanitys!


**I got bored and then thought of why exactly the Joker always hurts Harley. I figured it was a very extreme similarity to my dad so I thought this up. Disclaimer I do not own anything but the kitchen sink. **

* * *

The Joker felt a sickenly satisfying crack as his dear Harley collided with the hard wall of there hide out. "I- I m sorry, I-Im so s-sorry!" squeaked Harley, burying her head in her hands and shaking. "Sorry won't make my plan work any better the second time!" Harley looked up, her blue eyes seemed to be spilling out. " B-but puddin' I wasn't even there!" It was true, Harley was helping *The Carpenter move in with Mr. Freezes and was currently out of uniform and make up free. Though her black tank top and shorts just left more skin exposed for Joker to employ his "guilty pleasure" apon. He new he would feel bad about that in the morning, which just made him angrier. "Don't give me that you supervised the machine! It would have worked!" He screamed, pulling the young girl up by her wrist that was still scabbed from his emotional outbursts two nights previously. "N-no P-pud..." That tore it. The Joker pulled Harley wearily to her feet by her neck. "Don't call me Puddin' my dear clown." Joker threw his girlfriend all the way across the room where she crashed into the table. It tipped over and Harley bounced off the top of one of the legs and rolled into a crumpled heap. "Harl?" Asked the Joker concerned that she hadn't responded yet. "Harley? Harleen!" Harley moaned. Joker took a few steps toward her. "Why do ya hate me Joker?" The Jokers smile faltered for a split second. "Harley I-uh-I who said I hated you?" Harley took a second to answere because she had to catch her breath. "Ev-ev-every-everyone." Stammered the broken girl. "Well-I - don't- Then why do you always come back!" Harley pushed herself to a sitting up position. "Cause you never told me you don't love me." Harley gave a almost deranged smile. The Joker was seething with rage. She had the nerve to hope he had feelings! He couldn't love her! It was just crazy. Yeah. The Joker was panting with the rage. "I DON'T." For a second, the stare between the two of them was palpable. "Oh. Then maybe I should leave you alone now." The Joker blinked in awe. He had never seen Harley this way. He didn't like it. He looked away. "Maybe you should." Harley hissed in pain as she lifted herself out of the broken table and turned away to her room. Joker watched her go and blinked in dissbeleif. _Had there always been those scars on her shoulders? That limp wasn't there yesterday? How is there so much blood?" _deep crimson was soaking through her tank. Her pigtails were soaked in it and dropps of blood was running down her leg. The Joker was no stranger to blood, but this time he felt a slight pause in his chest before things reverted to normal and he turned to his office.

* * *

"**HARLEY!"** yelled the Joker. "Why aren't the hyenas fed yet? HARLEY!" He turned to the main room to find Gonzo and Carl playing poker. "Wheres Harley?" Carl was the first to look up. Gonzo plucked a card from the deck when he wasn't looking. "Haven't heard from her since ya fought boss." He stammered. The Joker nodded and went to look for Harley. "Harley?!" yelled the Joker, bursting into her room. His hands clentched into fists when he saw her lying face down on her bed. "Now you can't mope forever pooh there's work to be done!" There was no answere. "Harley? Harley get up right now!" Joker moved over to her bedside and pulled her over roughly by the shoulder. He jumpped back in horror. Harleys face was completly lifeless. Attached to her forehead was a note, _sorry I forgot the punchline. _The Joker lunged over and grabbed her wrist. There was the faintest of pulses thumped under his pure white hand. "**GONZO! CARL HELP!" ** The two henchmen ran into the room armed with tommy guns. The men took quite a few steps back when they saw Harley, uncounscious and covered in dried blood, cradled in the arms of a Joker who was hysterically laughing though tears rolled down his face. "Don't just stand there dumbasses! Do somthing! I'm losing her!" The henchmen started to sweat and stammer. "W-we don't know what ta do boss, this isn't what we sighned up for!" The clown prince of crime lunged at the men, knocking over Gonzo. "Then get me some one who can help her!" He shouted while banging Gonzos head repeatedly against the hard concrete ground. carl tried to pry the clown off his brother. "But who!" The joker took a look at the small girl lying on the bed. "Batman."

* * *

Batman swooped down from the roof of the bank towards the bat signal that was shining out of the window of a warehouse across the street. He crashed through the window, shattering glass everywhere. "Great batman!" squealed a familiar voice. "Joker." The Dark Knight growled, pulling out a batarang. He could see the Jokers face clearly now. "No no Bats! This is no joke. Or if it is it's the worst one i've ever heard." The Joker walked into the light and Batman saw that he had Harley cradled in his arms. She wasn't breathing. "What did you do to her!?" "Nothing I swear! At least not the bad part." Batman shook his head and held out his arms for Harley."She needs a hospital. This could be more serious than you thought. Poison Ivy made her immune to most basic toxins, this could be deadly to put her in this state." Joker swallowed and took a step back, holding Harley closer to his chest. "I'm going with you Batsy. Shes my material." Batman looked away from the Jokers display. "I'll send for the cops to take you to the hospital. We can't waste time." Joker reluctantly gave his doll to the enemy and "bff". Batman gave a nod and was off into the night with his harlequin dangling from his arms. The joker couldn't wait to be arrested.

* * *

The Joker gave the handcuff that connected his wrist to the armrest of the chair he sat in a test tug. He sighed and looked over to the table where Harley lay. Batman was fiddling with a computer not far away. "Her birthday is just around the corner ya know." Batman didn't respond, though Joker wasn't really regarding anyone. "She'll be 27 next month." The Joker laughed a little. "Every year I pretend to forget her birthday. she is crying in her room by lunch!" Beneath his laughter, Joker heard the tinyest of growls. _Lotsa empathy today Bats! Thats right I can see into your sole! I see a scared little boy behind the cap and tha cowl! _"Yup then she'll look up from her boo hoos and see the giant card balanced on her bed!" Batman relaxed a little. The Joker reached forward and touched Harleys arm, broken up about how cold it felt. "Where is she where is she!" Yelled a womens voice and Catwomen, in full costume, burst into the room followed by Poison Ivy, who was still in the orange arkham uniform. "Pam wait!" The Riddler the burst in with a straitjacket dangling around one of his ankles. Batman whipped around and pulled out a baterang. Poison Ivy didn't make eye contact with him and just focused on Harley lying on the table. "How is she?" Batman softened slightly, probobly at the sight of Catwoman. "I'm still trying to identify the poison she used. Commisoner Gordon will have you escorted back to Arkham and arrest you miss Catwoman." Catwoman slung her cat of nine tails over her shoulder and walked over to Batman, putting her hands on his shoulders and he started to trace her butt under her skin tight pants. "Now now Batsy, can't you just give us a break? We're all her for dear Harley." Batman grinned and started sliding his hand down Catwomans thigh and she lifted it upto his side. "This is more confusing than the worlds hardest logic puzzle, in which the answere is corn." Said Edward, leaning on the wall. "I am afraid I can't allow that Catwoman, Pamela and Edward are still in for rehabilitation and you have just broken two inmates out of Arkham Asylum." Catwoman pushed away from Bats. "Only one inmate. Nygma here followed Pam." The Riddler grinned sheepishly. "And if its me you want Batman, just ask." Catwoman had backed to the window and jumped onto the sill. Just when she was about to jump, she turned. "Make sure she pulls through Bats." She pounced out the window and both Batman and The Riddler jumped. Batman rushed to the window and checked just to make sure his precious pet hadn't hurt herself. He turned to the rest of them. "I'm not leaving Harley." Said Poison Ivy in a clear plain voice. Batman sighed. "Stay but you'll have to be sent back once this..." He gesture to Harley Quinn ".. is sorted." A loud sound from a machine Harley was hooked up to made everyones head turn. Batman ripped out a peice of paper from a slot on the machine. "I Need to discuss this with commisioner Gordon. He left The room and the door locked behind him.

* * *

"This is all your fault Joker." Growled Poison Ivy. "How I this my fault my dear weed?" asked the Joker with a trembling voice. "What did you do to her!" Screamed Ivy as she got up out of her seat. "I didn't do anything to her! It was a-a s-suicide!" The Joker yelled at the green women, getting up to. "You caused this! Typical human to destroy what is innocent! She did this to make you happy!" Joker gave a hard pull on his handcuffs. "I am NOT happy. It is just another mistake." Poison Ivy looked absolutly livid. "You don't even know! You probobly told her to die and she did it! She has talked about this forever!" The Joker looked suprised. _She wanted to kill herself? _"You don't know the half of it! She's been trying forever to get away from you! But you wouldn't care until she actually sticks a gun in front of you! She loves you and you killed her! My best friend!" Joker heard enough and wrapped his hands around Pams neck. Poison Ivy lunged back at him but The Riddler stepped in between them and stood protectivly in front of Pam. "Now is not the time for barbarasism!" Batman walked back into the room followed by a sollom comissioner Gordon. "We have identifyed the poison as modnarffuts. One of the few toxins that a diluted amount of Pamelas DNA can't protect from." Everyone suddenly had eyes on the Joker, for he had tears rolling down his pale face. "Just a simple poison! How could you not protect my little harlequin against this thing!" Poison Ivys green fists closed around the cloth covering her knees. "Modnarffuts is not a natural poison pardon my anatomy." " We have a simple antadote but it is uncertain when or if Miss Quinnzel wil wake." Added commisioner Gordon. It was silent for a second. Poison Ivy put her head in her hands and The Riddler put his arm around her. If she was paying attention, Ed would be dead. The Joker just faced forward, unblinking. "Come one guys." Said Gordon and four policemen came in and pulled up Poison Ivy and The Riddler and led them out the door. Two more went for the Joker but Batman stopped them. "The Joker might wish to stay." The Joker nodded and the twon policemen backed away releived. Soon it was just Gordon, Batman and the Joker alone. The Joker reached out again and folded Harleys hand into his own. "You were my favorite punchline."

* * *

The Joker stayed over night and was rather sore in the morning from a mixture of lack of sleep and too much time in a plastic chair. Batman came in pretty early to though Joker didn't know what time it was. Batman offered a bagel but he didn't take it. After a while of just staring at Harleys body until Batman broke the silence. "If she doesn't wake in the next few days, there won't be much to do." There was another gaping silence until the Joker said" can I have a moment alone with her." Batman nodded to both parties suprise and left the room. The Joker stared at Harley again for a while before he felt himself snap. "Wake up Harl, please, pretty please with joker venom on top? Damnit Harley just wake up!" The joker rushed at her but was pulled to his knees by his handcuffs. He put his chin on the table and let his tears flow into Harleys blonde hair. "Please wake up. I love you more than anything in a long time." He jumped when he heard a little umf. He leand into Harley and she moaned "P-puddin'". Joker yelled out "**BATMAN!" ** Batman rushed in and Harley was stirring. "Quick get Pam and Ed!" within seconds Poison Ivy and The Riddler where in the room just as Harley sat up on the table. "I'm not dead? Why am I not dead?" She looked up and saw the Joker. He smiled at her and she shrunk back in terror. "I-i so sorry Joker I tried to I did I-I am so sorry!" Harley cried and the Jokers heart broke. Poison Ivy wrapped her arms around Harley and gave Joker a grim frown. "B-but pooh! I mrfmrf." :What?" Harley turned to her puddin. "I love you!" Harley turned in suprise "Really puddin?" The joker nodded. "Please just don't leave again." Harley squeled and rolled into Jokers arms. Policemen started to file in but Batman held out a hand. "Let them have this."


End file.
